I am imploding.
I am trying to speak,
but you never hear.
Wearing my mask,
which becomes ever thinner,
as I find it harder to conceal,
all that I hold inside.
I could scream all of this out.
That you aren’t who I thought I knew, anymore.
That the older I get the more I see,
All of the ways in which you’ve harmed me.
But how can I ever tell you this,
when you love me so much
You have loved me to death
You have tried to mould me into your dreams
You told yourself this would all be perfect
Your daughter would be a great success
Your husband would never leave
You would never end up with damaged goods in your home
And yet, here we all are
A family of strangers
Too polite to argue
Too afraid to be honest
While your stepchildren voice their emotions
Shout at you, hurt you
I can’t be the one to echo their feelings
And so I lock away these emotions
which tear at my soul and silently scream from my lungs
my blood electric with noise and fire
coursing through my veins with rage and sorrow
I am wretched with frustration and unspoken words
But I can’t burden you with this
when you already tear yourself apart