Learning to Speak

5 sleeps.
Until we meet,
for the first time.

And haven’t I needed this for so long?

You said,
“It’s ok if you need to reschedule”
I wonder if you get that a lot.

And how many years
of unshared thoughts,
unspoken words,
hidden from those closest to me.

Closest in blood,
in proximity,
in friendship.

But closest to these paralysing thoughts?
There has been no one who holds that place.
Can I really change that?
Is it possible to heal?

Will I ever be able to speak
This truth to you?

How can so many years
of silence
be broken.
No matter how much I need them to be.

And where to even begin.

What’s bothering you?

“My relationship with my family
Is changing and I don’t understand why yet”

“I am apathetic,
Lost, retracting, isolated.”

Some forgotten trauma
unforgotten and resurfacing,
with the ferocity of a thousand wolves.

Dare I even open that door?

Trust no one
and no one can hurt you.

But without trust,
there can be no healing.
Isn’t that right?

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3 Comments

  1. I feel for you darlin xx you’ve been quiet lately. Are you struggling? Truth is always the best thing. Because that allows us to hold our head up high knowing we’ve boldly spoken it. We’re not responsible for people’s reactions. We can’t control that. We can only be dignified within ourself and that is the only way to convey our inner strength to the word. Unfiltered truth. My advice though is expect little in response. Disclosures are often not met with the kind of empathic responses we hope for. I hope you’re okay lovely Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello, I’m actually doing ok … I’ve got my first therapy session on Monday so I’m sh!tting myself a bit! I’ve never spoken thoughts out loud so I don’t even know where I’ll begin but hoping it’ll help if I can actually get any words out. You speak wise words as always… thank you for sharing your advice! I hope you’re ok too? Still catching up with posts! Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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