Dynamics

You spoke to me today.
About hearing,
and not just listening.

You told me
this information,
as if it would be a lesson,
brand new.

I understand,
you are imparting your wisdom.
Don’t apologise for
‘getting too deep for a Wednesday’.
I hate small talk anyway.

And you don’t know
all of me yet.
You see the face
I show to you.

Like they all do.

But it did
spark a thought,
in my muddle
of a brain.

How much of myself
am I really showing?

Am I still people pleasing?

Or is there just
a time and a place
for the conversations
I really would prefer.
Perhaps outside
of the eight to four.

I don’t think I mentioned,
that I am always reading
every expression,
on all of your faces.
That I am acutely aware,
of every silent emotion,
every unspoken word.
Every glance, every furrow.

I can feel their joy,
their pain,
their sorrow,
their frustrations,
as if they were my own.

Being highly sensitive
can be a curse you know.

And I never realised,
that I cover this up
so completely,
that you explain to me today;
what the people around me are like,
how they feel,
how to approach them,
what their values are.

And I want to tell you,
that I admire much about you.
I notice these things too.

Perhaps you already know this,
but I don’t think they all know.
That I feel blessed
every day,
to spend my time
in the company of kindness,
forgiveness, humility.

That I am filled with
admiration,
for the ladies we spend our days with.

Strong women,
kind women,
compassionate women.
Never envious of others.
Never prepared to take
a dishonest route.
Never prepared
to be something they’re not,
just to get ahead.
Just for personal gain

And we see so much of that,
don’t we?

I lost a friend recently.
Swallowed up
by the jaws
of the corporate demon.
She allowed herself
to compromise
her humanity,
her softness,
her compassion.

So busy and important.
She can no longer see
anything outside of this tunnel
she has built her world around.

But this group of beautiful women,
I feel so blessed to be around,
have taught me so much
about myself.
About how to treat others.
About not losing your standards
in the pursuit of personal gain.

And when I depart
from our world together.
Which I surely will.
You know this isn’t
a vocation of the heart
for me.
I doubt I will ever find
this same environment
of beautiful people,
that I find so much comfort in.

But I will always remember.

 

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2 Comments

  1. I LOVE THIS! SO MUCH!!!! This is a truth journey! And I hate small-talk also 😉 Seriously though if anyone asks you who you are, you could just send them this poem. It encapsulates your walk right now and if you leave that group, you will leave it with more within you than when you began. Inspiring !

    Liked by 1 person

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