Conflict

I told you I am done with this.
Then why do you seek
to drag me back in.

You say she tells you to listen to her.
I wish you would listen to me, too.

I tell you to let go.
Tell you, not to take
all of this
upon your shoulders.

I want you to be free
of this burden.
As I have spent months
working to learn.

I promise you,
you will feel free,
if you can only let go.

You want to practise
mindfulness,
spirituality,
healing,
but I see not the patience
in you.
I see perhaps
you are not yet willing
to accept teachings
unfamiliar to your learnings.

And we will always remain closer,
you and I.
For we are blood.
And blood forgives
more easily,
than family by marriage.
We both know that
to be true.
I will never betray you.
I will never disregard you.

I adore you
as I adore no other.

But sometimes,
you do make it hard
to connect.
When I shine my light
on the elephant in the room
and you deflect
so blatantly.

“Aren’t these so pretty”

Yes they are.
And I love what you’ve done
with the place.
But there are bigger issues
at hand.

I do not wish to be part
of your conflict.
I do not wish to hear
both of you
speaking ill of the other.

I wish to be close
to all of you,
but no longer
at the expense
of my mental health.
My happiness,
or my wellbeing.

And perhaps I am cold
these days.
Perhaps I am
my father’s daughter.
But I have no choice,
you see.
It is self preservation.

And self preservation
is new to me, yes.
But it is rapidly becoming
my greatest tool.
My ally,
and my solace.

I wish for you,
that you can open your hearts
and listen without judgement.

Then perhaps
you will have the connection
you so desperately seek.

Only your fear prevents you.

 
no face woman © 2017

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