Loneliness

You hear their words
tell you
‘I love you’
You know they mean it,
some more than others.

But how can you tell them
what a judgemental,
hypocrite
you really are.

That you resent their chatter.
Resent their well meant words.

How can you tell them,
you just want to be left alone,
more often than not.
Conversation is effort.
Politeness is effort.
So much more effort
than it seems to be
for other people.

Why is it so difficult for you
to get through a week
without needing complete silence.

That by Friday,
you are so exhausted
with it all,
that all you want to do
is curl up
alone
and speak to nobody.

How can you tell your partner
that you long so much
for him to understand.
To hold you,
to tell you that you’re valued,
attractive, even.

But how can you expect
anyone else
to create your happiness.
Only you can do that.

And right now,
you are alone
with your thoughts,
as you so often are.

Even in the company
of others,

you are alone.

 

 

no face woman © 2017

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10 Comments

  1. I find this really relatable, thank you for the beautiful words to accompany this feeling I’ve had for so long.

    There’s a song by Bastille called sleepsong and one of the lyrics is ‘you go to sleep on your own and you wake each day with your thoughts’; even though I’ve lived with my my partner for 4 years, I still feel alone because of feelings I can’t quite verbalize.

    Liked by 2 people

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