Freedom & Bitterness

Perhaps you spoke too soon.
Are you absolutely sure
this is what you want
for the rest of your life?

Are you envious
that you see
people you used to know
doing the things
you always wanted to?

Do you wish
you were brave enough
to try it too?

Do you wish
you could have the confidence
to leave this country?
To seek your dreams.
To see the world.

Do you struggle
with your fear?
And what are you afraid of, exactly?

Afraid of being alone.
Afraid of getting lost.
Of being attacked.
Of losing your way.
Finding yourself
in places unknown
amongst people unrecognisable?
A language you don’t understand?

Afraid of having no money?
Afraid of losing the ties you have
here at home.

Afraid of losing
your family.
(Do they really need you anyway?)

Afraid of
having no career to come back to?
(Do you even have a career anyway?)

Oh the magnitude
of trying to find one’s purpose.
The horror
of watching years pass by,
goals unachieved.
(And did you even have any goals anyway?)

What do you want from this life?

To learn.
To disappear from society.
To exist in a place
among wild things and forests.
To float downriver.
To swim with
all the magnificent
beasts of the ocean.

To fly above the clouds.
To drift between planets.
To observe
the overwhelming insignificance of it all
from the infinite silence of the universe.

To finally return home,
to wherever you really came from.

To cure this sense
of isolation,
at last.

… Such is your idea of a life well lived.

 

 
no face woman © 2017

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