Material Girl

The master of plans.
A smile that hides
a thousand insecurities.

You bluster through your days,
displaying as a peacock.
The finest things.
A new hairstyle.
Nails perfectly polished.

I see you look down
at my scruffy jeans,
my bare skin,
my un-pedicured toes.

All those holidays,
(you have the nickname to match).

Three sports cars.
Mexico at Christmas.

And you tell me,
that you found something on his phone.
You don’t believe you need to be concerned.

Why do you pretend?
You can share your concerns with me.
And I find it most impossible,
to connect with this display
of happiness,
when I see that it is false.

I wish you could show
just a little of who you really are.

Perhaps it is my failing,
but I struggle so much
to be close to you,
while you hide from me
all that you are.

And how can you
forgive such indiscretions,
for the pursuit of money alone?

You are willing to be let down,
to let yourself down.
Only to ensure
you can keep your BMW,
your designer clothes.

I want to see you
proud of being a strong woman.
Even if that means
being alone.

Perhaps it is unfair of me,
to project my ideals onto you.

It’s a mystery to me.
I would rather have nothing,
than be with someone
who gives me money
but nothing else.

I keep trying to be there for you,
but it’s an impossible task,
when you continue to pretend
in the way that you do.

And I wonder
is it all naivety?
Or is this a calculated game
I will never understand?

 
no face woman © 2017

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4 Comments

  1. When I feel like and we all do with something or another I say… how does this person fit into my life? Are they going to help me reach my goals? or part of my aspirations.. then all of a sudden the frustration fades… x

    Liked by 1 person

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