“Nowt’s ever enough is it”

[For the women of the Lane. There isn’t a day my heart doesn’t find you].

What world do you live in,
my dear?
What horrors have you seen?
Yes, I know what it’s like
to feel you are locked
in a vessel
whose windows have been smashed,
whose doors have been kicked in.

A vessel so unsafe,
you had to barricade yourself inside.
Bar the gates with metal,
run the barriers with barbs.

I know what it’s like,
to shield yourself
from the world.

You hide behind a veil
of spirit and powder.
Inject yourself
with the demon who grins.

Promising you freedom.
Promising you sanctuary.
Yes, it stops the pain
for a little while,
but he always leaves you
feeling less worthy
than before.

And you chase him,
clinging on, begging for release.

Take my pain away.
Take my pain away.

I want to know you.
I want to tell you that
I understand what it means
to have your dignity,
your self worth,
ripped from the inside of you.

I understand how long it takes
to try and muster
the self esteem
to piece together the parts of you
that were lost.
To piece together the parts of you
that you gave freely,
believing they held no value.

I want you to see, my dear,
that every experience,
every horror,
becomes part of who you are.
Every trauma
can be shifted
into wisdom,
into growth.

You can use this unique set of skills
to empower,
to comfort
and to empathise.

You can offer the rarest kind
of compassion,
without judgement.
For you have seen horror
from the inside.
You understand it all.

So use your experience
as your gift to all the world.
And all of your wretched history
will transform from darkness
into light.

 

no face woman © 2017

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