This is a Low

Electric fire
courses through my veins.

There is no control,
I spit and I rage.

I throw it in your face.

You tell me,
‘Don’t speak to me like that’

And you don’t see,
it is one action
upon many,
that drive me to madness.

One incident
and I am a volcano.

Don’t you see?
I hold everything inside of me.

Every rejection.
Every time I try
and you push me aside.
I hold it within me.
Until it only takes one thing
something insignificant,
and I cannot take any more.

I try so FUCKING hard
to make your life perfect.
I do everything for you.

And all you can think of
is yourself.

And perhaps it is my own
insecurities,
but sometimes I believe
you are only here
because it’s more convenient
than starting again.

I need to see so much more from you.
Where is your passion?
Where is your empathy?
Where is your fire?

This is three years.
And this is a low.

Why does everything fall apart
at the same time?

 

no face woman © 2017

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