Plastic People

Yes, I am angry.

I am angry
that I have shown you
so much compassion.
I’m angry that I have spent
hours upon hours
listening to your problems,
withholding any judgement
of your indiscretions.
Trying to provide for you
honest, genuine advice,
that I believe will help you
to get past your problems.

I have given to you
everything I believe
a real friend should be.

And I am angry,
because the only time
I needed the same understanding
from you,
the same compassion,
the same non-judgement…
You have shown me
that I cannot place my faith in you.

You have shown me
that you are a friend
as long as I’m the one
listening.
As long as I’m the one
looking after you.
As long as I’m the one
being strong for both of us.

Yes, I am angry now.
I am angry that in my moment of weakness,
I didn’t feel love from you.
I felt a smug arrogance.
a gloating ego,
revelling in my loss of strength.

I have no choice 
but to activate
the ‘INFJ door slam’.
And you see,
it’s not because I want to hurt you,
it’s just the only way I know.

I have been hurt.
I can no longer trust you.
I will never be unkind to you,
but I will keep the best of myself
for those I can depend on.

My tribe may be tiny,
but it is strong and mighty
and I don’t need you in it.

Door, slammed.

 

no face woman © 2017

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