The Divine Feminine

I don’t think you understand
when I tell you;
‘No, children are not part of my plan’.
At least not right now,
if ever at all.

And you tell me;
“But you’re a woman”.
“You’ll change your mind”.
“Your life isn’t complete without children”.
“Who will look after you when you’re older?”
“The clock is ticking”. (?!)

I don’t think you understand
how much your words offend.
Can my life not have meaning
if I choose not to procreate?

And I see you think me heartless
to refute my divine feminine power.

Yes I recognise the gift I have been given.
Yes, I look at your babies
and I think them beautiful,
untarnished, pure of heart.
Yes, of course it would fill my soul with joy
to hold a tiny person
of my own creation…

But wouldn’t that be a selfish reason
to bring a human into the world?
Just so I have something tiny to cuddle?

And I couldn’t explain my reasons to you
even if I tried.

I did try once.
I talked about my fears for the future,
overpopulation, the environment.
The pull of social media.
The fear of violence.
The fear of predators.
The propensity for mental illness.
And as I spoke,
I was met with a blank expression…

“But you’re not complete without them”.

And when you say this,
you make me feel that I am barely a woman,
unless I share the same thought process as you.

But this is my body.
This is my choice.

I recognise that bringing a human into this world
would cause me the kind of worry
that would inevitably kill me.

What if I screwed it up?
What if I ruined its life?
What if my neuroticism was passed down
and it lived in the constant
overwhelming
din of its thoughts,
as I do?

And so you see,
I think it less selfish of me
to save any child of mine
the anxiety of having a mother like me.

I think it less selfish
to bring a person into the world
merely because you told me I should.
Merely because I want somebody
to take care of me in old age.

No, I do not need to have children,
to make my life complete.

Please stop telling me I do.

 

 

no face woman © 2017

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25 Comments

    1. Margaret thank you so much for this perspective… I can’t tell you how comforting it feels to read those words. I’m glad the post came across that way and not quite as angry as I have felt whilst being misunderstood for this viewpoint. ❤ ❤ xx

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I remember being told at 13 that I would change my mind when I said I never wanted kids.

    Even though I’d been babysitting since I was 10 and loved it, I still knew then I would likely screw up any kids who were my own, because I knew even then that my parents had screwed me up and that they were what I’d likely model my own parenting after.

    Being a parent, having 24/7 responsibility of another human being is much different than admiring and holding someone else’s beautiful baby or babysitting for a few hours.

    I agree that it is indeed selfless to not have children for reasons you state, and I think it’s sad that others have such difficulty respecting those of us who make that choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this. I totally agree … and I know I’ll never be ready to be responsible for another human being’s life in that way. I feel sure I’d model my own parenting based on my family experience too, which could cause a child no end of pain xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I LOVE the truth in this.
    Why do people think it is ok to even ask ” SO do you have children?” Or ” when do you plan on having children?” How is that anyone’s business!
    I love that you are speaking for your rights and your body and your choice!
    I did not think, until after I gave birth, the pain and suffering and anxiety it would give me in efforts to protect her from all that is bad out there.
    I understand what you have written in a profound way

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly… it’s the ‘when’ that bothers me the most.. “WHEN are you having children?” “You’re in your thirties now”. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment… I think women feel a lot of stigma around choosing to not have children. ❤ xxx

      Like

      1. I’m just glad you brought it out and put it out there. It gives women the permission to say no! Don’t want to do it. Don’t have to explain myself. Shouldn’t have to. Kind of thing.

        Liked by 1 person

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